Reflection on dates...

I am a long believer in fate and 'signs', finding nothing to be a coincidence in life. Everything has a meaning.  When I had received word that the transfer date had been moved up to Easter Sunday due to the need to change from a 5 day transfer to a 3 day transfer, I couldn't help but feel my heart flutter in a good way.  See Easter Sunday 2008 was a horribly traumatic day for me.  That fateful Sunday I had been kidnapped & assaulted by an ex-boyfriend.  Clearly that holiday has remained engraved in my heart since that year. So when I found out that exactly four years later I would be embarking on a journey in which I hope to give life to my best friends, my heart swelled with joy.  The circle of life would hopefully return to the beginning - with the birth of a baby.  It is amazing to think back at this exact moment and recognize the growth I have made as a person and strength acquired in the past four years.  I could not feel more blessed that the transfer occurred on this date as I find it to be a way to overcome the pain previously associated with the holiday.  And even better is sign #2.     I learned that if I carry the baby to exactly full term, the birth date is projected to be on 26 December 2012.  Christmas has another 'negative' holiday in my eyes for 14 years now. I was diagnosed with a rare auto-immune disorder when I was 15 years old and it would be over 7 years on chemotherapy and high steroid treatments in order for the disease to go into remission.  The Christmas holiday was always a happy time as a child and teenager - leading up to the Christmas when I was 15 years old as this was the 1st Christmas we celebrated when I was sick.  I can recall laying in bed Christmas Eve depressed and extremely sick and telling my mom with tears in my eyes that the only thing I wanted for Christmas was "to be normal again."  My parents have tried their best for all subsequent following years to make Christmas time joyful & happy but I have never been able to shake that memory from when I was 15 years old.  I totally gave up Christmas about 5 years ago - not even going home to family to celebrate.  And I must say the last several years of Christmas' have also been quite horrible from my beloved dog dying on Christmas and my grandmother passing away on Christmas. I am truly a Scrooge!  However, as soon as I found out that as long as everything goes well, the baby will be born around the holiday, again my heart fluttered.  This could yet again be the full circle of life coming around.  My opportunity to see the joy of the holiday season again.  What better gift could one give than the gift of life??   No such things as coincidences I tell you...